Hope For the Best
By Maria Macfarlane

What is your wish for your child?

Whether the mother of a newborn or a well-seasoned mom, it is only natural to look beyond the present and imagine what place our children will have in the world. We contemplate what the future holds and wonder how much of an impact our efforts will have on the way our kids will “turn out.”

Active youngsters hurdle through the stages of childhood, lives change and our role as a parent evolves. Within our heart of hearts, our very deepest wish is that our kids will be fortunate enough to follow their passions, experience real happiness and know true love. Once out on their own they will have challenging years of hard work and accomplishments ahead. Perhaps they will have children of their own one day. If so, what sort of mother/father will they be? What kind of family will they co-create? Will they ever bounce a grandchild on their knee?

A visit with my parents this past Christmas crystallized what must be a seminal moment in every parent’s life. In the midst of us all opening our gifts, my dad quietly sat in his chair overseeing the frenzied excitement. As patriarch of the family, he watched his sons/daughters, their husbands/wives and all the grandchildren revel in the sheer joy of being together. The proud, contented look in his eyes told us that he could not have been happier. At 83, this is his legacy. He was surrounded by a close, loving family that has made an effort to maintain ties and keep its bond strong. What more can a parent ask for? For both my mother and father it is a true testament as to what kind of parents they have been.

My dream for my own children is that wherever their ambitions take them they will achieve a sense of fulfillment along the way. Parents often find themselves consumed with the daily concerns of raising a family. We can sometimes lose sight of the bigger picture. In the grand scheme of things, we are a branch in the family tree…. preparing the way and laying the foundation upon which the next generation can build. We, who were once children, venture out and start families of our own. Our kids grow up to be mothers and fathers, our parents become grandparents then they, in turn, pass the torch onto us.

Parenthood is a profoundly demanding, yet satisfying endeavor. We invest a lifetime of dedication to the care of our family and the well being of our children. The rewards for our undying commitment lie in seeing the fruits of our labor blossom and then flourish. After all, there is no greater joy than seeing our children mature into independent, caring, well adjusted people.

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A Fresh Start
By Maria Macfarlane

"What is required of us now is a new era of responsibility - a recognition, on the part of every American, that we have duties to ourselves, our nation, and the world, duties that we do not grudgingly accept but rather seize gladly, firm in the knowledge that there is nothing so satisfying to the spirit, so defining of our character, than giving our all to a difficult task."  Barack Obama

All of us can take the resolve and promise of the recent historic events in Washington and translate them into reminders of how we can incorporate a reformed dialogue into our daily lives.  As enlightened parents, could it be time to listen more closely, try another method or see things in a different light?  Being a family is a joint venture, with each member having a vested interest in the household's successes.  Everyone should have a voice.  Compassion, understanding and open-mindedness can go a long way in building bridges and mending fences. 

America has been given a fresh start. The ushering in of a new president has evoked an overwhelming sense of optimism and a massive outpouring of hope from around the world.  A shift is happening.  A transformation from the inside out is afoot.  We have all been inspired and called to action.  The common man has been mobilized and challenged to mold himself into a better citizen and, in turn, help change the world.

The people have been invited to participate in the co-creation of a new era... to shed old habits and unhealthy attitudes.  Making informed decisions and embracing innovative ideas, a definite shift in mindset can be felt.  A new conversation has begun; one that combines pragmatic problem solving with qualitative discourse.  Hope springs eternal and the possibilities are endless.  The ability of one man to elicit passion and inspire idealism has raised the consciousness of a powerful country.  The theme of his message is simple. Galvanize the people to do great things.  He has asked a nation to meet a formidable challenge with cooperation, sincerity and hard work.  Following Obama's eloquent directive from the steps of the Lincoln Memorial, we can all attempt to do our part to fulfill his noble vision of the future, keeping in mind that the family is the cornerstone of our society and change begins at home.

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Do Your Eyes Light Up?
By Maria Macfarlane

It takes courage to step out and make your mark on the world. In
an egocentric society of narcissistic bravado (check out MTV) and
falsely inflated egos (à la American Idol), parents tread a fine line.
How do we build our children's self-confidence and, at the same time,
teach them how to be realistic about their expectations?

Competition is a fact of life for our kids. Everyone is grappling for
the brass ring, trying to jockey for a position on the crowded
ladder of success. It's common to have to lobby for admittance to
an exclusive preschool, jump through hoops to qualify for the rep
team or undergo nerve-wracking auditions to play in the school band.
The pressures of "making it" and "following your star" can be a daunting
force in a child's life. Without perseverance, hard work and lots of luck
even the most talented person is not guaranteed success.

But somewhere between that initial seed of inspiration and the
ambitious leap of faith to pursue one's dreams the question arises,
"What makes me so special?" When children wonder, "Who am I to
think I can do this," they must draw upon inner strength and security
that has taken you, their parent, many years to nurture.

Maya Angelou asks, "How do you react when your child enters the
room? Do your eyes light up?" All children need to feel special, in
their own right, apart from their accomplishments and accolades.
In our daily routine it is often easy for family members to take each other
for granted. We should never forget how important it is for our
unconditional love to shine through and be seen…every day.
Yes, we can facilitate the attainment of their goals by driving them
to practices, cheering from the stands and proudly extolling their
talents. But what signals do our kids receive from us during the course
of an average day? How negative is our message to them when they
aggravate us or misbehave?

Whether it's a reassuring smile, an affectionate nudge or a big ol' hug,
by openly acknowledging the joy that our children bring into our lives,
we are visibly affirming our love for them. We have the power to
infuse our children with the belief that they can face the challenges that lie
ahead regardless of how pragmatic or grandiose their aspirations may be.
They have so much potential. Even the smallest gesture of approval can do
wonders to validate their sense of self worth. Whether it is in a lab, a boardroom
or on Broadway the world is their stage. So tell them they are special today!
Let them see it in your eyes when they walk through the door!

Let your encouragement inspire them and your love be their stepping-stone
to greatness.

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The Measure of a Parent
(In Loving Memory of My Father)
By Maria Macfarlane

What it means to be a parent defies description. It is more than a social designation. It’s an absolute, resolute state of being that we embody for an entire lifetime. Once we become a mom or a dad, our focus shifts and priorities change. We passionately support all that our kids do and become fierce guardians of their well being.

Children are empty vessels just waiting to be filled.
We want to do things right so that they will reach their full potential. This profound responsibility can seem daunting, but we do our best and hope that our kids become respectable, capable adults. Our parenting resources are limitless…so we read the books and consult the experts. We earnestly deliberate about how we teach, what to preach and when to do it.

But ultimately, once they are all grown up and on their own, what will our children remember? Or to be more specific… how will they remember us?
Is the real measure of a parent how you have mastered the fine art of raising a child or is it more about what kind of a person they have known you to be? Will our kids realize or appreciate what pop culture parenting method worked best on them or will they be more influenced by how they watched us live our life?

Will our children want to emulate us?
The passing of my dear father, only a few weeks ago, has given me pause to think about how much of an impact all the step-by-step advice and how-to philosophies actually have on the way our kids turn out. Surely their character is determined more by what motivates and inspires them at home than a specific theory that has been espoused during various stages of their lives. How much they choose to take, from all we have taught them, will be the true testament as to what kind of parents we have been.

Now that he is gone, I have spent much time contemplating about how much my dad has meant to me. Growing up, he was our standard...our touchstone.  A dedicated husband, a kind grandfather and a caring father; my dad was also a man of faith who drew his quiet strength and generous spirit from a devout belief in God. He made a difference in the lives of many and he reached out, not only to his community, but to his friends, co-workers and neighbors.

We could not have asked for a better role model. My father’s family meant the world to him. He was not highly educated, nor did he stress about what the experts had to say about the latest childrearing trend or study. He was simply a good, honest man who led by example and we, as his children, evolved accordingly.