What Can Our Kids Teach Us About The Holidays?
By Maria Macfarlane
The holidays bring so much joy and excitement into our lives,
but for some people this busy season can be a difficult time of year.
The emphasis is often more about fulfilling obligations than enjoying
the moment. Many women, especially, feel burdened, drained and
overwhelmed by all that they have to do.
As mothers we have so much to be thankful for. We are blessed to
have our children. In their enthusiasm, wonder and delight they remind
us of the true magic of the holidays. As parents, we tend to be so swept
up in what needs to be done that we forget to feel the grace, power and
yes...the fun...of the holiday spirit. Our kids, even if they are grown and
moved away, remind us that this time of year is more about celebrating
with loved ones than anything else.
Watch young children as each day passes. They love this time of year!
See how they embrace the wonder and innocence of it all. Although
being busy is unavoidable, try not to overstress about entertaining and
shopping. Don't become angry about how far behind you are in buying
gifts or the extra baking that must be done. Recognize how children
become more openhearted and positive in December. Take that
affirmative energy and use it -- It can be a powerful and edifying force.
Instead of holiday decorating being one more chore on your list, make it
a time to share. Infuse it with nostalgia, create new memories and delight
in the beauty of what you are creating.
Not having enough money can add extra strain to the holidays. Reach out
and turn your thoughts to others. Be grateful for what you have, think of
others less fortunate than yourself, delight in the season of giving and be
charitable in whatever way you can. For many it's a sad time of year.
Loneliness, bad memories and loss can be difficult to deal with. You
cannot escape from the reality of your emotions, however you can try to
recalibrate your way of thinking and be in the mindset to receive. Draw
upon the love and goodwill offered to you by loved ones and tap into
the optimistic excitement of the children in your life. Try to resist any
negative feelings. Take advantage of the change of pace. Be thankful
that the holidays offer you an opportunity to temporarily take your mind
off your troubles.
Try to make the season fulfilling in a personal way. Indulge yourself,
even if only on a small scale. Use holiday traditions to celebrate your
heritage. Take a stroll or a drive to take in the beauty of holiday lights.
Include your kids in holiday preparations. Something as simple as
ceremoniously turning on your Christmas lights each day with your
toddler can enhance an otherwise trivial activity. If you don't have
family close by, seek out those who can make your experience more
meaningful and enjoy the company of people who bring you happiness.
Be aware of the power of acts of kindness. Giving can be more satisfying
than receiving. Savor the unique benevolent ambiance that this time of
year has to offer and capitalize on the abundance of good cheer that is in
the air.
If you celebrate Christmas and you have become jaded by the brass
commercialism that bombards us, listen to the whispers of Christmas
past. Think back to the child whose hopeful eyes sparkled on Christmas Eve.
Search for the magic and happiness that once was. It shouldn't be hard to
find. It could be hidden in a small hand as it reaches for Santa's beard or
heard in the solemn refrain of your favorite Christmas carol. You know it
will be in the smile of your children as they open their gifts.
Making it through the Yuletide season can certainly take its toll. Don't
become too caught up in the madness. Like your child... be a believer.
Seize the moment and open yourself to the spirit of generosity that abounds
around you. We aspire to give our children everything...however this time
of year offers an opportunity to show our kids that the true message of any
holiday has little to do with gifts and elaborate events. It is about
advocating peace, promoting harmony and acknowledging our blessings.
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Do Your Eyes Light Up?
By Maria Macfarlane
It takes courage to step out and make your mark on the world. In
an egocentric society of narcissistic bravado (check out MTV) and
falsely inflated egos (à la American Idol), parents tread a fine line.
How do we build our children's self-confidence and, at the same time,
teach them how to be realistic about their expectations?
Competition is a fact of life for our kids. Everyone is grappling for
the brass ring, trying to jockey for a position on the crowded
ladder of success. It's common to have to lobby for admittance to
an exclusive preschool, jump through hoops to qualify for the rep
team or undergo nerve-wracking auditions to play in the school band.
The pressures of "making it" and "following your star" can be a daunting
force in a child's life. Without perseverance, hard work and lots of luck
even the most talented person is not guaranteed success.
But
somewhere between that initial seed of inspiration and the
ambitious leap of faith to pursue one's dreams the question arises,
"What makes me so special?" When children wonder, "Who am I to
think I can do this," they must draw upon inner strength and security
that has taken you, their parent, many years to nurture.
Maya Angelou asks, "How do you react when your child enters the
room? Do your eyes light up?" All children need to feel special, in
their own right, apart from their accomplishments and accolades.
In our daily routine it is often easy for family members to take each other
for granted. We should never forget how important it is for our
unconditional love to shine through and be seen
every day.
Yes, we can facilitate the attainment of their goals by driving them
to practices, cheering from the stands and proudly extolling their
talents. But what signals do our kids receive from us during the course
of an average day? How negative is our message to them when they
aggravate us or misbehave?
Whether it's a reassuring smile, an affectionate nudge or a big ol' hug,
by openly acknowledging the joy that our children bring into our lives,
we are visibly affirming our love for them. We have the power to
infuse our children with the belief that they can face the challenges that lie
ahead regardless of how pragmatic or grandiose their aspirations may be.
They have so much potential. Even the smallest gesture of approval can do
wonders to validate their sense of self worth. Whether it is in a lab, a boardroom
or on Broadway the world is their stage. So tell them they are special today!
Let them see it in your eyes when they walk through the door!
Let your encouragement inspire them and your love be their stepping-stone
to greatness.